I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
