I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
