youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
