whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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