i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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