Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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