:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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