whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I believe in your delicious
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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