You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you had me at cake vodka
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
