I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
