She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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