I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
