i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
