sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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