My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
