I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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