my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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