weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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