I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
