god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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