I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
