i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
