i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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