and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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