I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
home. puking in laundry basket.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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