she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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