Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
