Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
