i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
