Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love having hate sex.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
