i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
