OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
