is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
