Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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