We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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