Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
