did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
