shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
