I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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