I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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