I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We need to get me chipped asap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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