i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
