I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
