Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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