I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
