My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
