I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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