I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
