We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
