No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
