So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
