I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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